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For those of you who don’t know Pastor Steven Anderson, you should. The man is a genius… if genius is directly proportional to willful ignorance. Some of his insightful exploits include proving that Jesus wore pants and a blazer (some things never go out of style… even if they’re 2000 years old), explaining how God wanted men to pee standing up (apparently Mr. Anderson has never had morning wood), and that the Bible wasn’t written in Greek (since Greeks are a bunch of queers in dresses).

I made a comment about him being willfully ignorant. Here’s a quote from his church’s website: “Pastor Anderson holds no college degree but has well over 100 chapters of the Bible committed to memory, including almost half of the New Testament. Today, most Baptist churches are started by Bible Colleges. However, the Bible makes it clear that the church is the pillar and ground of the truth, not a school.”

Furthermore, he seems to honestly be unaware that things today are different than they were 2000 years ago. Never before have I seen anyone perform such skillful isogesis. He reads his own culture, values and beliefs into the text. Doing so not only justifies himself and any action he may take, it sets him in light to follow in the footsteps of previous spiritual greats like Jim Jones and Warren Jeffs. His world is literally no bigger than his morality and a collection of decontextualized of texts from several millennia ago.

Recently, he recently announced the he hoped Barack Obama would die of a brain tumor. Check it out:

The two gems are where he says, “You’ll see that there are lot of people who God hates and who we should hate,” and, “When people say I’m going to come kill you within the next 36 hours, that’s different than wishing something in their mind.” So God hates people. God wants us to hate people. And wishing someone is dead in your mind is different than actually killing them.

Apparently Jesus was full of shit when he said, “You have heard that it was said to the people long ago, ‘Do not murder, and anyone who murders will be subject to judgment.’ But I tell you that anyone who is angry with his brother will be subject to judgment. Again, anyone who says to his brother, ‘Raca,’ is answerable to the Sanhedrin. But anyone who says, ‘You fool!’ will be in danger of the fire of hell.” Or maybe they took that part out of the KJV.

If you ever need a laugh so good, you’ll want to stab yourself in the ears until you’re deaf… look up some YouTube sermons of Pastor Steven Anderson. Start with “Pisseth against the wall.”

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